Winning a Battle Vs Building Your Inner Coach | How we can look into the impact of both these ideologies!

       

   "I think everybody is weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it", when Johnny Depp said this quote, it sparkled immense confidence in many people who were insecure and just did not know how to be themselves or look into themselves. The difference between winning a battle and building your own inner coach which will help you train yourself for longer battles for new challenges can go a long way in how we deal with our lives and our decisions. This is something we do not often get to think about thoroughly but can do a better job by understanding it deeply. We are going to look into the same in this blog which is going to create a new perspective towards how we look at the challenges. 

Why do we always feel like winning that one thing in our lives?

           It is not uncommon that we come across people who just have the obsession with winning in whatever they do and keep working on one battle they have decided to win. This isn't a bad thing since they are always determined about that one thing and being passionate about it is what drives them. This is the reason why people tend to be happy with their jobs when they get placed or the excitement of the new experience of it because they always believed that it was their ultimate goal, to get a job, for which they studied and worked hard in college. This is highly appreciative but the reason why we feel like winning is because we are bound to the one thought of being stable in the future and know what we are doing. We want to win that one thing which was "said" to be true by everyone around us. This is beneficial for the ones who do not want to lose and want a happy and stable life since they have already won that one battle of being financially stable. But does that really help in the betterment of ourselves?

What does building our own inner coach mean?

            The thing with winning a battle is, we win and we conquer it, maybe celebrate it or learn something from that battle. But did we prepare ourselves enough for any kind of battles or just that one battle which we won? Building your own inner coach means that we have to create a mindset which prepares us for having the right confidence and nack of getting success in whatever we learn. Let us look into it in simpler words with an example, imagine a sportsperson preparing to win against a team. Now, this is the ideal plan to win but the team plans by observing every player's weakness and working on taking advantage of them. This is a great strategy but during the match, what if they fail executing the same plan when the opposite team has also worked on converting their weakness as their strength? This is obviously not going to get along with the team which planned the strategy. However, if they plan and work on themselves and try to perfect the skill which each individual in the team is good at, it will help make them a better team with everyone knowing how to work on themselves by improving the one skill they can do best. This is what building our own inner coach feels like, you can always train yourself with your own skill which you are good at instead of just getting carried away with one time winning.

Is this going to affect our formula of winning?

             The answer for this question is rather skeptical because working on yourself never really guarantees you quick success. But we can surely say that building your own inner coach is for yourself and this won't affect the nack of winning as you will be creating new ways to understand yourself and going back to the same coach which you are always comfortable with. Once you are comfortable with yourself, you can always rely on yourself on getting motivation and confidence instead of someone else telling you or motivating you with the usual cheesy lines we always hear. The confidence and self-esteem which generates inside yourself with this inner coach is going to make you the best version of yourself and gives you the ultimate formula to winning which can be used in any kind of battle and not just the one which everyone tends to follow. 

How is it better than winning a battle?

             This is something which one should decide based on what they want to achieve in their lives. Some people are really happy and self satisfied with a job which they have and help to adding value in their own sector. On the other hand, the ones who want to build themselves in the things which has the ability grow with and creates value to the lives of people and constantly fighting with themselves to be better, they know by this point that they can't always rely on someone else for motivation or advice and instead they need to have an inner coach which they can always look up to in any given conditions. This is what makes a self-motivated and self-confident individual who thrives in any condition and has the audacity to challenge the natural standards by creating new ones. Also, we should look into the fact that building your own inner coach is a constant process and which always keeps improving with each new thing you learn in your life. 

             So, we can finally say that once we start building our inner coach, we will not only be able to handle every problems with our life by ourselves, but with have the self-esteem and sense of confidence going into the future with achieving our desired goals and winning every situation put on to us. We will never have to fall in confusion what to do and how to plan because we have our own coach to tell us what to do and we can always go with it without blaming anyone. And the best part, there's nothing to lose! 

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The Social Media Dilemma! How serious it is and why we should have control over it?

 A well-known poet T. S. Elliot once said a quote which read - "Distracted from distraction by distraction". This quote is quite exaggerating and it will become more evident as you read on this article. How often do we find ourselves reaching out towards our phones to use social media be it Instagram, Snapchat, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter and find ourselves spending hours on it and only to realize it later that we were supposed to complete more important tasks in that same time? Yeah, we have all been through this more often than not and it is very hard to control it. We are going to look into the facts and the reasons why we should start learning to control this urge to move towards social media over and over again. 

What science has to say about this?

       Scientists have a lot to say about the social media addiction amongst the people and especially the younger generation. The reason being the sense of pleasure which one gets while accomplishing something or getting more attention on apps in the form of likes and comments which make them feel good which in turn releases a hormone called dopamine in the body which is also called a feel-good neurotransmitter. This hormone is responsible for your mood, health, attention and even decision making. The blame for any kind of addiction in the human body goes to this hormone and which is something the scientists have to say that the feeling of getting more likes and attention from many people plays an important role in the increasing levels of the same. The increase in this hormone makes us gravitate towards the things which gives us more of the same feeling. This does not mean that we should not use it or get our dopamine levels low, instead, this is a reason we should consider for our betterment and look for ways to find the right balance between our professional lives and social media. Let us look into it in detail.

What is it that we are doing on social media that gives the creators an edge?

        The fact that millions and millions of users are posting pictures and videos while others are liking and appreciating the posts is not a bad thing. The one thing which should bother everyone but isn't is that many people tend to like the same post which they had already liked from a different account. This just kills the base for the new creators to create new content and the people at fault should realize that by liking the same thing again and again, they are proving that they can commit a mistake and have a high possibility of repeating it. They do not learn from their mistakes because the post they liked did not change them in any way. We have to realize that social media is a platform for creators and consumers and we fall into the trap by being foolish enough to repeat the same mistake over and over again. Now whoever reading this should ask yourself whether you are going to choose to learn or repeat it again and again. The most important aspect which is to be observed here is that by repetition of the same reactions, it can be observed that it affects the learning ability of a person and the capacity of reasoning which means you may have to repeat same thing while explaining something to them and that does not look good!

The impact of "scrolling" in our lives

        Okay, we all are guilty of scrolling through many social media apps and most of us love it. What if I tell you right now that it affects us severely especially our grades? Obviously everyone would agree but we cannot stop doing it because we do not know how it is affecting us even though we keep a separate time for that in our time table and manage to keep up with the rest of our productive work. Here's the thing, in our schools, the time assigned for teaching of one particular subject ranges from 40 minutes to one hour. This used to be a fair amount of time when it was introduced long time ago with the people during that time did not have social media and could concentrate for an hour with lesser distractions. Now, you may be wondering how scrolling is related to this, so imagine you are scrolling Instagram and you read a post which was very serious news about a topic. You concentrate on that post for a few seconds, understand it and scroll to another post which is way different than the previous one. This second post maybe a meme which made you laugh and completely diverting you from the serious feeling to finding something funny. Now laughing isn't wrong, but what happens is that you jumped through different emotions in a matter of seconds which affects your ability to focus on one thing for a longer time. When you are technically training your brain to switch between different forms of feeling, how can you expect your brain to concentrate in a class or seminar for an hour? This is the impact which scrolling is having in our lives and we have to learn to manage our time in controlling it.

        It doesn't matter how hard we try, we can't stay away from it and we am quite aware of that. One way we can get a hold on it is by finding reasons more important than it and comprehending with them, which makes it easier for more productive work. We can also not get carried away by appreciating the same thing again and again and make way for new creators with better and helpful content. We should have control over it before it controls us and by which we should know the reasons for using them. Either be a creator or a consumer, but we as the right people should not get carried away and be the flow for the better future of social media and how we intend to handle it. 

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The Obsession With Winning!

      One of the greatest golfers to ever play the game once said, "Winning isn't everything, but wanting it is", a quote which makes me wonder if winning is really that important in life for us or is it just an obsession which people tend to have or develop it overtime with success. Let us look into the facts about the obsession with winning briefly in this blog which will help us understand more about winning and decide whether we really have to focus on winning or do not care about winning to focus on a brighter side. 

How is winning related to success?

      Okay, let me get this straight, how often do we see students who got the best grades in school hover around with zero self esteem? How often do we see the athletes and some achievers disappear after one achievement of success? How often is it that we look at people who are not satisfied with winning even though winning is considered the best possible way of reaching the top. What we should observe is that they all won but they did not succeed. Most of us always focus on winning so much that we often forget the struggle and the journey we went through to reach the top. We may win but with no success. At the same time, we see some college dropouts succeeding in life and the athletes who did not win last year coming back stronger to win this year. This does not mean that we should quit college or just give up on our first attempt. What it really means is that we should focus on what success really means irrespective of the fact that we are winning or losing. Our obsession of winning has been involved in people so much that our society tends to follow a particular route and never is there a chance for self-improvement of the right choices or the freedom for the ones who have the proper idea. We should never confuse success with winning, we can win without success and we can also lose with success.

Why do we really need to win?

     Alright, it is true that we love to win, who doesn't love winning? We play games to win, we argue to win, we tend to fight a case in court to win, we protest to win and convince the superiors for our betterment. We all are always focused on winning in each and everything we do which is for our benefits. Well, it isn't wrong but if you ask everyone in a public protest for the motive of their protest, chances are that you will get answers which are not related to the main topic of protest and they are just there supporting it. This begs the question of why are we doing this? Why do we have to win? The thing is, we always have to prove something to certain amount of people, and it is considered the "best" way to prove yourself is by winning in that particular thing. This obsession makes it so hard for us and we forget why we should really win and how it is affecting our self-consciousness. We work more for the satisfaction of our ego rather than practicing self improvement. The only thing we can get by this is just the proof which is not even meant for you, but for the opposite person. You get absolutely nothing from it except the loss of time and energy. What we can do instead is that we can invest that time in self-growth, establish a connection with yourself, do not care about winning and be the best version of yourself so that the same people come asking you what we really did to succeed.

How do we really plan the route towards success?

      We often see people talk about the path towards success and its aftermath, but have you ever seen someone talking about the path to failure and how to fix the issues if one happens to face those problems? There may be some people but they are very less and that is what differentiates them with the rest of the world in valuating the success and self satisfaction. We have to plan our success in such a way that we take care of all the failures we are bound to encounter in the journey and accordingly, be prepared for it beforehand which helps in making the path very feasible even though it isn't. We can always blame someone else or a situation for our failures but we cannot afford to believe that ourselves which mostly makes you go downhill. Always plan the goals according to your strengths and work on them with sheer passion towards it. You will then realize how much obsessed you were with winning that you weren't aware of the value of your efforts.

Should we fix this obsession of winning or live with it?

       Look, it doesn't matter how hard we try, we cannot change our mindset unless our will power is greater than our self acceptance. We can always strive to win but just winning for a cause with no plan after that can be disintegrating. We can try to better ourselves with each effort being better than the last one. This means that we do not need to fix the obsession, but we have to learn to manage it for the betterment of ourselves and which has some value addition with it. We cannot let the current factors affect it and we can afford to live with this obsession once we get used to our achievements. 

         So, we can conclude that it is always up to us to either win or make efforts to make it to the top of the mountain. We have to stop depending on the factors which won't help us to get to our goals and work on the ones which help us get our goals. Never back down of anything and keep winning with a purpose for yourself.

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The Power of Your Thoughts Affecting Your Environment

       Generally, we come across a lot of thoughts in our mind most of which, as said by a psychologist, is considered to mediate between inner and external stimuli of our whole activities. Now, we never get carried along with the boredom of theories, which makes this blog about the power which our thoughts hold and how they affect our environment and how we interact with everything. We can never control how this works, but there are a lot of ways that we can manipulate these thoughts in our own advantage and do not depend on any source for the same. 

 How do our thoughts work?

       First things first, it is a well-known but hardly arguable fact that we cannot control our thoughts. The thing here is that we may not have the control over what we think or the kind of thoughts we get but we always have the control over how those thoughts originate in our minds which is basically getting to the root of the topic. We always have to instill the pieces of information which we find to take in ourselves to trick our mind into having the thoughts which we require. Lets us look at an example- You are going down the street late at night and notice that a creepy man is looking at you across the street. In this situation, either you walk away with a feeling of discomfort or just treat him as just another guy who happened to see you. Here, there were two kinds of responses, the first one was where you got uncomfortable which would have led to various violent possibilities in which that guy would have done while the second one would lead to a thought of casually surpassing a stranger and nothing to worry about. This is the only differentiating factor in the way of thinking and can go a long way in making our lives better by controlling the power of our thoughts.

The influence of our thoughts based on our situation. 

      We, as social beings, live in an environment full of people and are constantly reminded of the way we should be thinking, which is mostly influenced by the way we are raised or the kind of people we grow up with. What this does is that, it makes most of us think in a certain way which we don't want to and are mostly under constant self doubt. This is where some of us miss all the opportunities we could have got if the people around us were slightly better. Which makes the need of controlling our own thoughts so useful in getting to know ourselves better with oneself and not with the wild judgement of others around us. We should learn to take a moment to process the thoughts according to our advantage before we tend to speak or interact with them when you are under a deep thought process. This is what constitutes the power of our thoughts. 

The thought process and how we deal with them.

      There are a variety of uses of our thoughts based on the situation which we deal in a situation. We tend to say some things based on the environment and the nature of the people around us. This creates the scent of fitting in with the people around us even though we are not supposed to. What this does is that, when we are not around the people and do not fit in, the thoughts which come in our mind are not very ideal and may not be as effectively powerful as they would be if we were in a situation where we feel that we fit in. These things always happen with many people when their thoughts don't match the situation or the people around them in a function or gathering and they end up feeling low. This is not supposed to happen with everyone but if you relate to this, you have to control your thoughts by prioritizing what you are and how to be yourself in a given situation. 

How to gain control and be yourself?

       There are plenty of ways to be yourself in any situation, for example, you can just walk around in the room and find something which may interest you or meet a person who is feeling the same way as you are. But one thing we can't afford to do is let our thoughts have the control over the situation. These thoughts that indicate that we do not fit in are the thoughts which relate very differently compared to the situation we are in that moment and are referred to as distractions. Well, we all have heard it from the teachers back in our school calling us out saying that we are distracted away from the studies and all that and they weren't wrong. They knew that you had no control over the young mind which was always eager to learn. It is okay to be distracted in a given situation but it is not okay to let it control the same situation. We have to keep in mind that we can convert any situation or environment into an area of our own where we can be comfortable with and can make amends to stay positive in every sense. 

         This is how the power of the thoughts which possess influence the environment we are in and tend to make the decisions based on them. We should always hold the power to control our thoughts and make the  decisions accordingly and not based on the people or our surroundings. Always stay positive in the most negative situations and keep improving your lifestyle as you live.

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Leaders Never Grow In A Controlled Environment

    

  When you observe your surroundings, you get the impression of two kinds of people. The first kind is the one who controls and the other one is the one who is under the influence of the one who controls him. Both of these kind of people are differentiated by only one skill and that skill is 'leadership'. In nature, some people are born leaders, some work for it and most of them just strive to be but never actually do something about it. The impact which the leaders have on the team they lead is quite significant and plays an important role in the outcome of the same.

Who are called Leaders?

     If we look at it technically, leadership is an art of motivating a group of people to act towards achieving a common goal or a leader can simply defined as the inspiration and director of the actions taken by the team. Leaders can be found everywhere and in very remote places too. The head of your family is the leader in your home, an elected politician is the leader of a specific area, a CEO is the leader of a company etc. Most of the people who are called leaders come with a set of skills which are not possessed or practiced by other people and that is what distinguishes them with other people. When you get an impression of a person as "the smartest in the room", you automatically turn your head towards him and you actually listen to him carefully. That's the impact a leader can have on a person and it is quite remarkable that they are not necessarily hard working but someone who gets the job done. 

Why do we need Leaders?

     We all know that our world is evolving in almost every aspect be it technology or invention. But behind every task done in a particular field, a team led by a leader is responsible and the leader has a major hand behind it. Not everyone in this world are able to take decisions quickly and rationally and they have to be guided by someone who shares the same goal as they do with a better understanding pathway. That's where the need of leadership comes into light. Leaders have always been a need in history too dating back to the times of Egyptian rule or even the Roman Empire. Nowadays we see the leaders in the form of politicians who are elected by the people. And yes, we can all agree that leaders are just people with more confidence. But do you have that confidence? We need leaders because they not only have confidence, but they also know how to fill that same amount of confidence in their team and that is why the world needs leaders. Not everyone is perfect and not the leader himself too. But the leader has the clear vision through which he has to lead the team and that is why our history is rich with many prominent leaders who are remembered even now. 

Why a controlled environment is not good for leaders.

      If you are an employee in a company or work under someone, you may know that you are under the control of your boss. And the control under which you are is the reason why you aren't a leader and being controlled. Now you may say that some great politicians such as Barack Obama was under the control of the law. The answer for that is yes, but what I mean by a "controlled" environment here is something which you accept to be even you think that you are worth more achieving. Obama was the leader of the United States and he had million of people under him and the law is just a sidekick to his leadership which he needs to govern the state. 

     The only control a leader should have is self-control. That is the only way that can lead a leader's team to success. How many times have you heard a motivational speech from a random person at your school or college and just dream of having the same schedule but end up being your old self the next day? Have you ever given a thought on how he became what he became? Most of the entrepreneurs and successful people had controlled environments such as a small house or no enough resources to work with but they grew only when they went out of that controlled environment and started to take control of everything they were capable of to build what they have to. That makes a good leader and the world only praises a good leader. 

         Let me finish off by telling something about our society and its beliefs. No matter how much of a great idea you have for the people or for your family or even the country and you strongly think that the society is going to be a better place, that same society will never praise it or support it if you tell them. It only praises you or gives you their support when you act on yourself and make it happen. Nobody is going to support your idea except you. If you have to make it happen, start by yourself and then plan to grow. Never seek help from anyone to start something. But always seek help from whoever available to learn something. Remember that if you want to learn something, learn it from the people who have been the best in that particular field and start by yourself. Once you start growing, you will be praised by most of the people in the society but a very seldom amount of people will help you improve. And that seldom people are the ones with whom you should seek help to grow and never take any praise seriously. Never be proud of your achievements unless you reach your ultimate goal.

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THE VALUE OF YOUR ATTENTION!

What do you mean by Attention?

            Attention is something which refers to how we actively process specific information in our environment. Well, let's not get into technical stuff because it never intrigues us anyway. So, basically in our real world and our surroundings, we are in constant search of things which makes us look good in front of other people and feel that moment of pride when people look at you. That urge to look for things which makes us good in front of others is what's called attention.

How do people gain attention?

            There are many people out there wanting to gain attention. It may be an employee trying to gain attention of his boss, a teenager trying to get an affectionate attention from the opposite sex, a dog/cat trying to get your attention and many other instances when people along with the animals try gaining attention. Social networking has become an ideal platform for people to share their content to get the attention of hundreds and thousands of people. A trend called as 'social media influencing' began which gained popularity in no time. People start subscribing to those kinda things and look at it as a way of living their lives too. People also gain attention by doing unusual things just to be featured on television or any kind of media just to be a talk of the town. There are plenty of ways out there to get attention of as many people we want but it all comes with a cost.

The right value of attention.

           Attention is not something which everyone gets. The value of attention varies from person to person and also the point of view of different people. The meaning of attention these days has come down to the number of likes and views someone gets on social media platforms. A provocative picture gets more likes and attention than that of a meaningful picture which teaches you something every time you look at it but that doesn't mean that it is the right way to gain attention. A person gets the attention they deserve when they leave this world and people mourn for some days for the loss and later their lives are back to normal as it was before. That desolation or sorrow doesn't signify the right value of deserving attention that person should've got when he was among the living. The right value of attention is when you rightfully respect the work someone is putting into something and appreciating the self-made success which is productive for human welfare.

Why the need of attention is necessary?

          Even though the gaining of attention has its own benefits and pitfalls, it always was and will be something a human cannot simply resist. It has to be remembered that You will never understand the value of attention unless you are sidelined. There are thousands of people out there in this world having skills which can bring many positive changes to this world but are getting deprived of the opportunities just because they either cannot afford their dreams or just kill their own dreams with their own hands afraid of what the undiscovered world can do to them. The attention is something we should learn to use as an emotional superpower to change the people around us and how we can make the world a better place. Finally, just ask yourself one question, "Why should I need attention and how much work am I putting to gain it?"

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Make your life like a hot air balloon

What is life "According to you"?

           If you ask a biologist about the meaning of life, he will start explaining from the very beginning and with the concept of cell and the biochemical processes carried out by millions of those cells. But in the real world, most people don't care about these scientific facts. They tend more towards general facts and they are the ones who bring out the real meaning of life.

           Now, when you ask yourself what life is, you start imagining the people who are living the life the way you want to lead yours. You get inspired by the people who have no relation to your life and seek inspiration from them. But you never think of it through your needs and the work you are doing. Most of us don't want to take the higher risks to achieve and instead seek out for long term goals rather than completing the task present right in your hands. 

           So, now sit for a minute and think what life is and post it in the comments below.

When does your life really "begin"?

          The best and the only superpower common among human beings is Time. It is the only luxury anyone can have. Our life begins when we are born (obvious enough), but nobody starts walking straight out of their mother's womb. they are fed and taken care of till they are capable of doing the same by themselves. but what comes next is what defines a person. There is no specific answer for when the life of a person really begins with but you have to believe that it really starts taking shape the time he truly realizes the purpose of his/her's life keeping in mind the environment and the condition of the people who have an impact on their life. Once a person realizes the true purpose of life, that's when his journey kickstarts as a responsible human being.

What makes your life like a hot air balloon?

    Why do people love to travel in a hot air balloon?

              People, when in a hot air balloon love to look at the scenery and the fact that it makes them feel like they are at the top of the world as they are far above the land and it makes them feel contented or sometimes overjoyed that they are in the air sailing above everyone else on the land.

    Why should you make your life like a hot air balloon?

              Imagine yourself as the hot air balloon and your family as the people who are to travel in that balloon. You are the one who has to take them to greater heights and make them feel contented and happy. You cannot let them down with that because they deserve that happiness. The passengers pay for the ride (just like your father pays for all your needs) and the fuel required for the fire in the balloon is provided by the one who controls it (just like your mom takes care of you). So you decide whether to be a hot air balloon or not.

How can you make yourself like a hot air balloon?

             The most important goal here is to rise higher and higher like a hot air balloon and to do that, it requires a lot of fuel. The fuel won't be a worry because all of your needs are taken care of by your parents. The one important thing which is in your hands is the size of your balloon. The greater the size of your balloon, the higher you will rise and better will be the experience of the people travelling in the balloon. The next goal is to be an attractive balloon filled with colors and decorated with the finest materials. This is the way you can achieve your goals by having an attitude of a hot air balloon who knows only one way to be successful and that is to rise higher and higher till the pinnacle of great satisfaction is reached.

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